Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
