Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish my penis had an off switch
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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