i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
