ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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