4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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