fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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