Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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