Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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