I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
