he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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