Pants 0. Shit 1.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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