no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
