sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
