So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
