I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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