You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
