Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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