So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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