I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
