He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
