He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
