So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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