haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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