then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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