Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize