names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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