I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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