thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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