We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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