Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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