I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
