69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
