i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
