Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize