He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
