She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
