I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize