i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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