We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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