Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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