normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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