the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
