Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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