And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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