just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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