Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
