I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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