they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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