You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
