I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
