Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
