Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i now understand why vodka
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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