Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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