He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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