Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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