You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
