dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
