Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
