Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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