Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
