it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize