Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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