...so i touched it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize