Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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