This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
