I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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