i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
